Frequently Asked Relationship Questions
Men and women are different creatures. Raised differently from birth, they have different needs and different expectations about life, love, responsibility, work and relationships.
Men are about production. They are linear thinkers who focus on results. They are intelligent, creative and quite effective at building, moving things, doing projects and figuring things out, except women. When it comes to women, they are really oblivious and do not have a clue what to do to give women what they want.
If you would ask every man, it is likely they would prefer to be told exactly what their woman wants. It lessens his chances of being wrong. In addition, men also have the very fragile and sensitive MME (Macho male ego) which dictates most of their reactions.
Finally, MEN DOMINATE WOMEN. If you doubt that, just look around at society and the world. Women are about appetite. They are extremely creative, circular thinkers. Women focus on the journey of life and relationship. They are highly intuitive and are able to find solutions to problems without resorting to violence or domination by threat of violence. Women are totally ambivalent about men. They fear them physically and they have the "got to have one or I'll die" mentality.
Unconsciously, women are angry about 5 million years of domination. Their way of evening the score is to be mean and both men and women are too unaware of their feelings to recognize that.
Women have a kind of intuitive intelligence that men have so little of they can't even comprehend what it is.
The bad news for women is that most of them actually believe that men have that same kind of intelligence and that they are faking their dumbness about what women want.
There is no male match for female intuitive intelligence. This is woman's balancing leverage to physical domination.
Relationships deteriorate because people sell out to comfort. Always telling the truth and being vulnerable is uncomfortable so we sell ourselves down the river rather than risk losing by telling the truth about what it is we need and want to make us happy.
There are two kinds of bitches: There is the Mean bitch, the one who is nasty, backstabbing and venomous. She is usually using her viciousness to get revenge because someone in her life has damaged her self-esteem.
The second type is an attractive, powerful bitch who owns every room, knows what she wants, asks for it and expects and knows SOMEONE will get it for her. She is attractive to both men and women. The acronym for this BITCH is Brave Intelligent Tenacious Creative Honest
The Woman always does the choosing. The WOMAN IS IN CHARGE and the relationship runs on her schedule. ALWAYS!
She sees a man who attracts her. By the way it's not usually his looks, it's his presence or production or something he has done that has impressed her.
She gives him a signal. He then responds by trying to further impress her. Providing he does not get too intolerable in his showing off, they start dating.
If a man sees a woman he wants his best option is to get noticed by her so she can choose him.
In the beginning of a relationship she gives out a lot of nice. As she starts to feel comfortable, trusting that he will not leave her, she will begin to share her anger. (The anger about 5 million years of oppression by men.) For women, being mean is an act of love.
When a woman is mean to a man, she has chosen him to love and trusts that he will not leave her because she displays her gut-level reactions.
The amount of meanness serves as a barometer of the relationship. If she is too mean for too long, he will think about leaving. She then, has a choice. She can modify her meanness or escalate it.
A man does not leave a relationship until he has been dismissed. In this way women do the ending also. Escalating the meanness is a woman’s favorite way of getting rid of a man and have him think it’s his idea.
What we have is 5 million years of dependence on male physical prowess and domination, and 100 years of new technology which balances women's need for men.
Women recognize that they can exist in society with the current technology without a man to hunt, conquer and overpower adversaries.
They also instinctually desire to be taken care of and protected. This explains their ambivalence regarding men.
The Man/Woman relationship was not designed for today's circumstances. For women, being a Homemaker is instinctual, so is deferring to male dominance. For men domination is an act of love. It's instinctual.
The bottom line is Men are macho, dominating, unaware and totally confused about how to relate to modern women.
They also love women and will do anything to please them. This is not likely to change in the next 500 years.
So Women, if you want a man, that is the kind of man that is available. You must learn to live with them the way they are.
Women don't want men to know that their appetite for sex equals and occasionally surpasses that of the male.
Women suppress that information because they are afraid that it will intimidate men and make them look like sluts.
In addition, our society has made it socially unacceptable for women, especially wives and mothers, to be overtly sexy.
Men, because they focus on production, think sex equals erections and their fear centers around their ability to perform.
Men cannot turn on by themselves. They get their pleasure from the woman's pleasure. Sexual interaction comes from the woman's appetite.
Women say they want sex. They mean pleasure and the man hears performance. The catch-22 in all of this is that to keep a woman happy, a man needs to satisfy a woman's appetite for sex and the woman is afraid to show her real appetite.
The biggest problem is dishonesty.
Most men know very little about sex and female satisfaction.
Where did any man actually get an opportunity to learn, unless a woman took the time to teach him. When a man doesn't know, he will operate as if he knows it all. (Think of a male asking for directions.)
Women remain silent because they know that a man's ego, especially about sex, is very delicate. Rather than risk losing him, she will lie to him about how great he is in bed.
After many years of bad sex, when she can't stand it anymore, she will make up a dramatic excuse and avoid sex altogether.
The reason that Men think they are great lovers is because few women will tell the truth of their experience of sex.
Let me prove it to you. How many women have had an orgasm? How many have ever faked an orgasm?
Truth is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Find something to acknowledge him for (I'm so glad you are here).
Give an instruction/order (like from a menu).
Compliment him on how he carries out your instruction.
Give another instruction.
Acknowledge any movement in the direction you want him to go.
This formula works for everything and will get you whatever you want from a man (or anyone) anytime.
Note: This also works when teaching a man about making love to you.
Do it often until he is trained. Men are challenged when it comes to women, they require slow repetitive instruction.
Men, this is the equivalent of staying after school to practice having sex.
I do. A woman's responsibility in relationship is to approve of her man and believe in him and to know what she wants and express her appetite for it.
This requires enhanced self-esteem and claiming and exerting woman's natural authority in relationship.
In a powerful Man/Woman relationship, the woman is in charge. She knows it. He knows it. They both love it.
A man's responsibility in relationship is to keep his woman satisfied sexually, give her everything she asks for and recognize that she is the authority in relationship.
It sounds simple. It is. It's also complex and when it works everyone gets what they want.
It might seem that way, but if we consider that men want sex above all else and it's their job to keep their woman satisfied, then they get what they want first.
The most difficult thing for a woman is to identify and ask for what she wants. It requires a level of self-esteem that few of us possess all the time. It also requires her to be nice, acknowledge his greatness, and savor the waiting.
The most difficult thing for a man is to guess what his woman wants in the way of responses and to admit that he ever needs her support.
Make a list. Detailed. Put a date on it. Put it away. Forget about it. The universe will deliver.