Givers and Receivers

What does it mean to be a gracious generous, grateful giver?

Men are about production, a means to an end and very results oriented.

Women are about appetite, the process, and very experience oriented.

Generalized statements for sure, but lets analyze them.

To be in a relationship that works you must be a giver. However, I believe you must be a receiver also.

I honestly believe that the sex act is a metaphor for romantic relationship.

That ought to raise some eyebrows!

Seriously, this is what I have learned in my 20 years of relationship work.

In terms of the sex act, men must produce in order for the act to take place and women must receive in order to consummate.

Lets just go with this as a strategy.

In terms of relationship, men want to produce results and they want to please their woman. Men are pretty much clueless about what women want. They appreciate direction from their women in order to be able to please. They just want their women to be happy.

Women are pretty much clueless about what they want to make them happy as well.

They have a vague idea and expect their man to figure it out.  Here is the problem. That will never happen. Men want specifics and women give them hints expecting magical results.

No one is wrong here.  This is just a communication gap that has to be resolved in someway so that the relationship can move forward.

For a relationship to work, women must have an appetite, know what they want and ask for it. This is contrary to the way most women have been raised.

They on the whole have been taught not to be direct and ask for things. That is not ladylike.  They think that hinting about things is going to get them what they want. They are under the impression that men are as intuitive as women are. They do not realize that men like to be told exactly what it is that would please a woman so that they can then produce that result.

What do men want from producing results?  They want a gracious, generous, grateful woman to approve of them, appreciate their efforts and give them lots of sex. They are relatively simple creatures and we women want to make them as complex as we are.

So here is how it works

Men as givers, produce results. Women as givers, give appreciation.

Men as receivers, receive approval get rejuvenated and go and produce more.

Women as receivers, receive all the production, attention and pleasure that the men produce and ask for more than he thinks he can produce. Then as givers they believe without doubt that their man can produce the things that he isn’t sure that he can until he does. That is their job in relationship.  Appetite.

You can learn more about this in my Appetite Course.